Good Bye Maddie

It is with a heavy heart that I share with you that I had Maddie put to sleep about a week ago. I haven't been able to write about it until now, it was just too painful to think about it. Medicating her made her so scared and it was scary for me. I was bitten and scratched so many times I lost count. I could not pill her, giving her antirobe liquid would make her vomit. The injectible form of antirobe was very painful. The toxoplasmosis had caused nerve damage to one side of her face and it made her eye twinge. The only way I could handle her would be to cage her and when she was caged, she would barely eat. If I tried to force feed her, she would struggle so hard she would make herself sick. I re-arranged my home so I could shut up all of my younger cats so Maddie could have a couple of final days free in the house - one more time. I found a great video I'd taken of her with some super-powered catnip –

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mofPoQR4usU

I played this over and over again when I came home from that final trip to the vet. My vet was very supportive and sat and talked with me for a long time about my decision. I had such high hopes for this precious girl. It seems like from the day she was born, the cards were stacked against her having a normal life. I'd like to think that she was able to experience a little bit of happiness while in my care. At times, she certainly did seem happy. The house feels different without her here, but I find comfort in knowing she is in a better world, where ALL cats are loved and treated like the kings and queens they are. She has crossed the rainbow bridge and is enjoying the company of Macallister, Dante and other foster cats I've known and lost - and hopefully she has made furry friends of those you have lost as well. Thank you all for your support - I know there are people around the country sharing in my tears.